Professor Worm (profworm) wrote,
Professor Worm

I got a call a few days ago from my brother to tell me that my dad had collapsed. He has a tumor in his brain, along with a lot of bleeding and clotting and all other manner of fucked up. There's not much anyone can do. We've gone down to the hospital to visit a few times, but he can't really remember much, and his mind can't do much other than focus on how he's going to pay his rent. The steroids are helping him be a little more clear than he was, but apparently after a while they stop working and he's going to go back to how he was at first. Barely able to recognize us.

I guess I always knew this was coming, although to be honest I always thought he'd go much more suddenly. I had heard that he had a heart attack about a year ago, but what I hadn't heard what that he was pretty heavy into crack at the time.

Not that that's a surprise. I have my first memory of him as a child narrowed down to one of two things. One is of my mom coming into the room and freaking out (rightfully so) because he was having me pass the pot pipe between him and his wasted friends. The other is of standing next to him at coffee-table, watching him cut out white lines on a mirror and suck them up his nose through a rolled up bill.

I guess what really surprises me is that I don't really seem to care much. I should probably be sad or angry or something.

I probably will be later.

This just sucks.
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